quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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