i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
