You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize