what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
