I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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