the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Randomize
