I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
