i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize