it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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