discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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