That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
