Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
