that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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