In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize