Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
