i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
