dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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