I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize