i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
