chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
