i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
