do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
