I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
