We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
