question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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