Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
