the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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