We're like a lot better than the average bears
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
