Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
