No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
