She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
