I wanna passion pit in your ass
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
