eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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