I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
