My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
