His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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