OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
