I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
how drunk are you?
Several
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
