I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
