Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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