More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
