Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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