Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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