Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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