Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
