Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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