you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
