Don't make out with my wife yet
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Terrible idea I love it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
