All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize