Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize