i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
