I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
