i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
