Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i came on her dog
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
