in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
