There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
