I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
