I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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