he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
