Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
