She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
